We played the Old Peculiars (picture right) on Sunday, this being the second time this season. It was a home fixture but due to fixture back logs at Heysham Cricket Club, our home ground at the moment, the match had to be played again at the Memorial Field Lancaster which made it for all intents and purposes an away game.

The wicket was as usual green, which produced a lot of bounce. Lancaster won the toss and put Old Peculiars in to bat in the 40 over match. Simon Rucky Rucastle and Adam Bozzy Barwell, Lancasters youth policy, opened the bowling. There was little help initially for the bowlers as Old Peculiars began scoring steadily. Lancasters opening two bowled with determination, which finally brought rewards with Rucky taking 3 wickets for 23 runs in his 8 over spell and Bozzy producing figures of 7 overs no wicket for 31. Paul Chippy Coward, recently transferred from Old Peculiars for an undisclosed fee, and John Arkle Townson, on loan from Denise his wife, took over the bowling duties and kept it as tight as the wicket would allow. Chippy bowled well against his old club and produced figures of 8 overs, 1 wicket, for 28 runs. Arkle started his spell a little rusty, as he has just come back from a 25 year injury spell and to his credit dug in deep to record figures of 4 overs, 1 wicket for 23 runs. Taking in to account his first over cost 10 runs he did very well. Negotiations are at a crucial point with Denise, his agent, to bring Arkle to Lancaster on a permanent basis. At this stage of the game Old Peculiars had reached 91 for 5 at the 20 over half way stage. There were then spells of bowling from Graham Beefy Botham Cook and Aidy Bubble Watts. Beefy toiled away with his slingshot deliveries with figures of 5 overs, no wicket for 31 runs, whilst Bubble experimented with a new bowling action that had can be best described as a high looping delivery and set figures of 2 overs for 14 runs.

Old Peculiars entered the last 10 overs of their innings with 4 wickets remaining with their best batsmen either at the crease or still to come and must have felt confident of a target in excess of 200 on the cards. Paul Barzy Barwell chipped in with 3 overs of varying length and width to keep the batsmen at ease. He had the distinction of clean bowling the Old Peculiars top batsman for just 1 run. This came as a surprise to all, as most of his deliveries were the width of the River Lune, at its widest point, down either side of the wicket. They however did not have an inkling of the superb tactical play of the Lancaster captain in saving one the most devastating strike bowlers till last.

Mark Joel Garner, who learned his cricketing skills at Stafford Young Offenders Public School, which produces many great sportsmen, and prospective POs for the Prison Service, produced an amazing spell of aggressive bowling, taking 3 wickets in 1.4 overs for the cost of 10 runs, to polish of the Old Peculiars in the 38 over for 180 all out.

Special Mention in the fielding department must also be made. Terry Stumps Akrigg, Lancasters resident wicket keeper, showed heroic qualities and unbelievable agility, that will hearten both the England selectors in their search for Alec Stewarts successor and shareholders of Radox LTD. Also the neat footwork of  Mark Micheal Flattely Gill and the nimbleness and balance of John Arkle Townson who brought back memories of Derek Randell at his best.

One slight disappointment was Adam Bozzy Barwell who jumped over a knee-high ball thinking more of his manhood to be instead of stopping a boundary. Being 11 years old and 4ft tall he may well have a point.

Lancaster started their innings tentatively with Stumps and Bozzy opening. Stumpy" pushed to the off side with Bozzy coming down the wicket for an easy single. Unfortunately Stumpy was thinking about his Radox bath awaiting him at home and just failed to get in the crease by some 10 years and was run out for naught. It was felt that due to Stumps disappointment in the last match, when he was out to a diabolical and biased umpiring decision by one of his own players, that the Child Protection Agency should be informed. Rucky came to the wicket and, together with Bozzy, cultivated a useful partnership of 21 before being out to a clever piece of bowling and a superb catch in the slips which the sporting response of it was a crap shot from Rucky.

Lancaster then went through a lean spell with the loss of 3 wickets, which put them in the unhealthy state of 31 for 5 off 12 overs.

A resurgence was needed and it came in the form of Aidy Bubble Watts and Graham Beefy Cook. They faced each other like two gunslingers of the old west. Beefy reached for his bat first dispatching his first ball to the boundary, while fielders dove for cover in case of flying shrapnel.

Volley after volley followed, boundaries and sixes to the four corners of the ground. But it was inevitable something should end this barrage and so it was, Beefy fired a blank and left the battlefield having shot a quick fire 30.

Chippy then stepped forward and soon became Beefy 2. Bubble provided the perfect foil again and Lancaster reached 92 before Bubble was stumped, for the second match in a row, for 31. This brought in the final batsman, Barzy, to the crease with 79 needed from 16 overs.

Old Peculiars brought their two main strike bowlers on who bowled a tidy line and length to tie to two batsmen up. Barzy knew what was needed, as Alan Mr President Smith, (who is to embark on a season of seminars, which will deal with the organization of multi-million pound cricket clubs) had said be positive, block everything and get to 100.

This came to pass. The terraces erupted with jubilation, the bells of the nearby cathedral rang a stirring celebration and beacons were lit the length and breadth of the country to say that Lancaster Castle Cricket Club had reached 100 for the first time without the aid of disabled people.

Lancaster went on to make a very credible 123 all out with Chippy being caught of a thunderbolt of a shot, with the last wicket stand 31 being a Lancaster record.

There were no losers this day. Cricket in general benefited and Lancaster held their heads high both on the field and at the bar next to the cut, where sustenance was sought from the amber nectar